The Pope's Words on Condoms

Excerpted from “Light of the World: The Pope, The Church and The Signs Of The Times,” an interview with Pope Benedict XVI and Peter Seewald.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/23/world/europe/23popetext.html

Much of this article is true. Go to the poorest, most dangerous, most desperate ends of the earth, and there you will find the Catholics. But it leaves much more to be desired in the way of support for contraception and safe sex practices.

As a Catholic working in a clinic with many HIV patients - not to mention in a country with the third highest fertility rate in the world - I've been thrust in the middle of this conversation. And yes, it is a conversation. Too often I find people in the Church unwilling to converse openly, honestly, and logically about this topic.

It is easy to say that contraception is immoral because it somehow depreciates the act of love between a man and a woman. And abstinence is great! Indeed, it's the only sure bet. And being faithful? Well, no one can argue that. But what do you tell a woman who comes to you because her husband has beaten her for becoming pregnant. She is "faithful" - and so is he, for that matter. But she's one of three wives. Polygamy is legal in Uganda. And because she is the third wife in line, she lives in a hut next door to his first wife and their children. As it is in many polygamous families, the husband will not allow her to have any form of gainful employment, partly because staying at home will eliminate the threat of another man meeting her, and partly because it means she will remain entirely dependent upon him. Her role as "wife": cook the meals, clean the home, care for the children (none of which are hers), and sleep with him whenever he says. But there's a catch. She can only stay in that hut and eat the food he pays for if she does not become pregnant. The matron, or first wife, will not tolerate her husband having a child with another woman, even if he is married to her. And one more thing: she is not to use any form of contraception because, according to him, "it's against the Church's teachings". So what is she to do? She's a 33 year old woman who ovulates. If this man is sleeping with her (is it fair to call it rape at this point?) 5 times a week, it's only a matter of time. So to prevent her from being kicked out of the house - and becoming homeless - we at the clinic put her on the pill. She came back the following week with cuts and bruises all over. There was no need for her to describe what he had done when he found the pills. It was literally painted on her face.

Now she has come to us again, this time 3 weeks late. She's always had a regular 28-day cycle, so it doesn't take an obstetrician to diagnose this one. Again, she is covered in bruises, and as promised, he kicked her out. Poor, beaten, unemployed, uneducated, homeless, and pregnant.

Forget HIV-infected male prostitutes. We're not talking abortion here. This is something entirely different. Until the Church can ensure that sex between every man and every woman is an expression of love, it must not condemn the provision of essential medical care. But that's just my opinion.